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Post by ActuallyFace on Feb 25, 2014 15:42:35 GMT -8
Wess had grown a bit concerned as time passed without any sign of Leta, but... well, she had reason enough not to want to see him. He'd been awful to her, just... awful, and she was hurting. He wouldn't want to see him, either, if he'd been put in her situation. Honestly, he was surprised she'd kept up trying to see him so often recently...
He decided he would wait an hour before he sent another pulse, and then the hour after that he would go find her himself. This was important news, and he needed to let her know, and to fix things between them again. Or... try. He didn't know how likely Leta was to want him back after all he'd done to her.
Luckily she showed up before then, and he didn't have to worry about trying to go out to find her. The wave of relief when he heard her familiar knock was much smaller than the one that had almost drowned him earlier, though.
When he opened the door, however, the smile on his lips and in his eyes vanished.
Was that... blood?
She had blood on her hands, and... her shoulder, god, what was wrong with her shoulder?! She was holding it, had it been wounded? But there was so much blood around aside from that, it was... terrifying, really, to see her just drenched like that, and the worry he'd felt when his mother was sick and Leta had been threatened was nothing compared to this! His heart skipped a beat or two then raced to compensate, and the color blanched from his face, leaving his features more pale and cold than they'd been ever before, and making his eyes look hollow with their darkened circles.
Without a word he pulled her inside and sat her down on his couch, then hurried off to his bathroom. He had some medical supplies there, and he brought them back out in a small, beaten-up canvas bag along with some cloth and water, then took a seat beside Leta.
"I am no doctor, but I know how to use the supplies I do have. I need you to bare your shoulder so I may clean and mend it." He looked serious, and overly calm, and for once that fear and pain were gone form his eyes. There was concern, of course, but those feelings that had been ripping him apart these past few weeks had left him now.
He didn't mention that he'd finished the project, that they could... could be okay again, could be together. His mind was far, far away from that, worrying instead about Leta's condition, about how it had come about... there was no way all of this blood was her's, not with the size of the gash on her shoulder, and not with the way it had soaked into her clothes in places that didn't really make sense. He would have thought they were more wounds, but her clothing looked intact, there. So... what the hell had happened?! What could have caused this?!
A feeling of dread took the trembling knot that were his insides and yanked them downwards. This was something to do with that... gang organization thing, the one that had confronted him earlier, wasn't it? But he had finished what they wanted him to do, so why would they have attacked Leta?! Maybe they needed them dead, was that it? Or had he accidentally shown that he didn't need her to finish this? Oh, god... if he had put her in more danger with this... oh, god.
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Post by NobleAlyssum on Feb 27, 2014 16:00:14 GMT -8
She watched as Wess' expression rapidly drained of color when he opened the door, and let him pull her inside his home in silence. Of course Leta had known that her appearance was probably not the most comforting at the moment, but she hadn't wanted to waste time in getting to him.
The focus and attentiveness that Wess was currently displaying warmed her heart, and she could feel the negative emotions that had been swirling inside her settle and begin to fade. The harsh edges and sharpness that had littered her mind began to melt, melding back into herself, softening her. With it came a different type of clarity.
She had blood on her hands now, she was stained with red, and it didn't bother her. Leta thought it probably should, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Wasn't that... wrong? It perturbed her, but then again, hadn't she always known what she was like? Leta knew that she wasn't like other people, she had always been too jagged for that. This world had looked at her and found her lacking, deficient in some nameless thing. Perhaps it was her own stability that was missing. Normal people would find grief, regret, or hesitation in what she had done, but she was fine. Content, even. It was for him, wasn't it? She would be willing to do so much to keep Wess with her.
The adrenaline that had been pumping in her veins had drained away, leaving her slightly shaky. Still, she found comfort in his presence. They hadn't been close to each other like this in a long time, and she would cherish it. She wouldn't let him pull away from her ever again.
At his words, she slid off her jacket in order to provide better access to the wound, and unbuttoned the first few buttons in her shirt so she could actually slide the material off her shoulder. It was a bit exposing but not overly so, and it was Wess.
Looking back towards him, she could practically see the questions forming in his head, and the rising panic they brought became very evident. She knew she would have to say something, though she wasn't exactly sure how to tell him what without sounding crazy. She might as well be direct with him, after all he was probably scared and uneasy. With a sigh, she began to speak.
"I suppose I should explain what happened. I... engaged in forceful diplomacy with those following us."
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Post by ActuallyFace on Feb 28, 2014 8:56:00 GMT -8
Wess did his best to ignore he she was exposing herself when she bared her shoulder, focusing instead on the wound. A sickness rose in his stomach, but he pushed it away, forcing himself to focus. He wet a cloth, and started to dab the blood away from her wound, his fingers steady despite the fear and dread still holding down his insides.
He barely heard her when she spoke, so her words took a moment to sink in... forceful diplomacy? And she knew they were being followed, watched... oh, god. Had she figured out what was going on? Well, she was smart. He wasn't really all that surprised... but what the hell was 'forceful diplomacy' supposed to mean?! Had she actually fought them?! The way she phrased it, it sounded like she had started it, too... that was a bit... unsettling. He sort of wanted to be disgusted, but at the moment, he was too busy worrying about her general well-being.
"I... see." He muttered, and set down the cloth, now bloodied. There must have been a lot of adrenaline coursing through her, because that wound wasn't bleeding a whole lot... He would take advantage of that. He dug a bottle of disinfecting charm out of the bag, and soaked another cloth in it, then began dabbing at her wound again. It would sting, there was no doubt about it, but he hoped she was still coasting on her wave of adrenaline. That would dull it quite a bit. As would distracting her...
Wess cleared his throat and spoke again, louder. "I finished the project, after you left. I... it was only a couple of things that needed to be added to make it work." His voice sounded shaky at first, but as he spoke, an excitement began to rise through the worry in his tone. "I tried some songs on it, I managed to get it to make some things. And I... wanted to talk to you about a few things, as well. Aside from that." He paused, setting that cloth down as well to dig a curved needle and some thread out of his bag. "I am certain you have noticed I have been... pulling away from you." He paused again, trying to figure out how to phrase this... "I did not do it because I.. I love you any less. I could never love you any less. But those following us... you say you have noticed them. They threatened to hurt you, when I left to take care of my mother. No, they said they had. They said you were hurt, because of me, and when I came back and found you safe... I could not let it happen. I had to show them that you could not be used as leverage against me, so that they would not hurt you. So I did as you have seen, I pulled away. And I had to make it seem real to you, too, because they might notice that you were not affected by it. They might suspect something was happening. And I am sorry, I am, because I do not want to hurt you. And I understand if you do not want to come back to me after that." His voice broke at the end of that, and she might begin to feel his hands shake while he tried to stitch up her wound. Not enough to really hurt, but... it would be strange. Especially when his hands were usually so steady. He drew in a breath, trying to steady himself. "I worked on the project when you were away. I tried to finish it quickly, so this would not have to drag on... which is why I finished it while you were away. But now that it is finished, I do not think we need to worry so much anymore." He tried to smile at that, but the smile faltered, fell again under the force of his emotions. She wouldn't want to stay with him.. god, he was sure of it. She had to hate him for this. But he'd tried to keep her safe... he had failed, but he had tried. And at least this injury seemed to be the most of it all.
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Post by NobleAlyssum on Mar 1, 2014 0:40:25 GMT -8
Leta winced slightly at the chill of the disinfectant. She wasn't really a fan of pain of any sort, and really who was, so she was glad for the numbness that had spread over her body.
Her shock probably showed on her face when he told her he had finished the project. She hadn't expected that, and while she had known they were close, she hadn't known they were that close! She was going to respond, but he continued on.
She shut her eyes and grimaced as the needle pierced her skin. She could feel his hands tremble as the needle moved. But it was okay, hearing his words was more than enough reason to endure. It was one thing to think you know whats going on, and another to hear it. He loved her, and that was all she could hear for a moment. She hadn't lost him... but he appeared to think he had lost her. This foolish man... As if he would ever be able to get her to leave.
She reached out her free hand to touch his face, fingertips brushing his skin, and she looked at him with soft eyes. "Wess... It hurt, it really did. For the longest time, I didn't know what was going on, and I-" She took a deep breath. "I thought it was something I had done. Every time I reached for you, you went further away. But do you really think that I wouldn't have figured out what was going on? I felt so relieved... You can't keep me away Wess. Eventually I would have done something to change things between us. I'm glad that the project is done, but am more so that you are happy." She frowned slightly. "Of course, this doesn't mean I am not angry. You did hurt me... But I love you Wess, and nothing will change that."
She smiled brightly at him. "That's why I won't let anything get in between us ever again, no matter the cost."
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Post by ActuallyFace on Mar 12, 2014 10:43:44 GMT -8
Wess relaxed some at those words, glad she was okay, and glad they would be okay. He felt guilty, of course he did... he couldn't help that, he'd done something awful and it had hurt her, but... he was still trying to help keep her from more harm. He just wanted to protect her, wanted her to be okay. And the way he had seen things, he couldn't do that by pulling her closer. He had to get rid of idea that she might be used as leverage against him. And it hurt, really, that he had failed... not only had he hurt her, but the reason for doing that, the goal behind it, hadn't been accomplished. He had failed, and hurt her in more than one way in doing so. And every time she said it again, it... it hurt him, too. All of this, everything that had happened, had hurt him as well. He wanted it to stop, really. He wanted to just go back and never have started the project, to convince himself in the past to get close to Leta some other way. Because this... he'd hurt them both, almost enough to make it all just... not worth it.
But she was okay, now, and that was what mattered. He had to focus on that, on the fact that they were both okay now, and not on what couldn't be helped. And he had to try to make this all better, too... he wanted to make sure they would be better, both of them. He had to make sure she was really okay, and he had to keep making sure of it. He'd hurt her, he really had, and it... it wasn't okay.
God, his head was a mess... Everything was a mess, really. He'd made it all a mess, he'd been doing for these past weeks, and he knew it well, too. He had known it the whole time, he just... didn't know any other way to make sure she was safe. And even then, he hadn't made sure! It hurt, it really did. It hurt to know all of those things. How could he have thought she wouldn't figure it out? That someone wouldn't figure it out? Did he honestly think that he alone was so much smarter than everyone else in this damn world?!
Wess finished off his stitches and put the needle and remaining thread back into his bag, then wiped at the wetness gathering in his eyes and started sticking a bandage over Leta's wound. He sniffed once, trying to keep it all discreet,and then looked up at her when he finished with her bandage and pulled her shirt back over her shoulder. "I am glad..." He said, and when his voice came out a bit choked, he cleared his throat and started again, "I am glad you are... at least alive. I am glad you understand. And I... I am sorry, too, that I hurt you." He moved the bag out of the way, and found hand with his. "I am sorry. I meant to protect you, but I failed, and I hurt you myself in the process. I am sorry, I am, and I love you, too... I love you."
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Post by NobleAlyssum on Mar 18, 2014 15:11:42 GMT -8
Even though he tried to hide it, Leta could still see his distress. Admittedly, it was rather obvious that he was not at his most stable... Such was the inevitable risk that came with opening one's heart to another. It was unavoidable really, that she would cause him pain, and he would hurt her. It was intrinsic in the very nature of love. If it was anyone else, she didn't think she could accept such a reality. But if it was him... She held the hand he had placed in hers tightly. She would need to reassure him.
"Wess, you did what you thought was right, and I can't be angry about that. Though I may take issue with how you did so, but I appreciate the sentiment, the want to protect me. It may have hurt, but I will heal... We will heal. We will be stronger because of this." Leta felt that with time, the hurt they felt would fade. Things hadn't been easy for either of them, and she could understand his sadness. The weeks leading up to now had been painful, but she felt as though now they could move forward from this, put it behind them. She hoped her words could help him view things in the same light.
"I think its only natural that we will cause each other pain at times, for as close as we may be, we are still two separate people. It is how we deal with the hurt we cause each other that will define us. We will move past this together."
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